Hair Would Only Slow Me Down Bald Humor Funny T-Shirt Unisex T-shirt, Sweatshirt, Hoodie, Long Sleeve Tee
Custom Printed Gildan® Apparel – Designed for You
Warning: once you feel this fabric, your other tees are getting benched. Gildan® Ultra Cotton meets studio-quality DTG printing. Comfort and color that actually last.
📸 The image shows a T-Shirt preview, but this design is ready on T-Shirt, Long Sleeve, Sweatshirt & Hoodie. Select your variant and we’ll craft it to order.
The Good Stuff
- 🎨 Print That Pops – DTG-printed directly into the fabric. No cracking, no peeling – just bold, vivid color.
- 🧵 Fabric That Delivers – Gildan® Ultra Cotton & Heavy Blend. Soft, durable, certified low-impact dyes.
- 👕 Fits Like It Should – Classic cut, taped neck & shoulders, tear-away label. Nothing scratchy, nothing awkward.
- 🇺🇸 Good Cotton, Good Vibes – US Cotton Trust Protocol member. Sustainable, premium, American-grown.
Fabric Breakdown
- T-Shirt & Long Sleeve: Pure cotton (5.3–6 oz) – breathable comfort, durable construction.
- Sweatshirt & Hoodie: 50/50 Heavy Blend (8 oz) – pill-resistant with spandex cuffs & waistband.
- Fabric note – Sport Grey (90/10 cotton/poly) has a slight poly blend for that classic heather finish.
Your Perfect Match
Reference the charts below before you order:
Available Colors
Gildan 5000 — Unisex T-Shirt
| Size | Length | Bust |
|---|---|---|
| S | 28 in (71.1 cm) | 36 in (91.4 cm) |
| M | 29 in (73.7 cm) | 40 in (101.6 cm) |
| L | 30 in (76.2 cm) | 44 in (111.8 cm) |
| XL | 31 in (78.7 cm) | 48 in (121.9 cm) |
| 2XL | 32 in (81.3 cm) | 52 in (132.1 cm) |
| 3XL | 33 in (83.8 cm) | 56 in (142.2 cm) |
| 4XL | 34 in (86.4 cm) | 60 in (152.4 cm) |
Gildan 2400 — Unisex Long Sleeve Tee
| Size | Length | Bust | Sleeve |
|---|---|---|---|
| S | 28 in (71 cm) | 36 in (92 cm) | 33.5 in (85 cm) |
| M | 29 in (74 cm) | 40 in (102 cm) | 35 in (89 cm) |
| L | 30 in (76 cm) | 44 in (112 cm) | 36.5 in (93 cm) |
| XL | 31 in (79 cm) | 48 in (122 cm) | 38 in (97 cm) |
| 2XL | 32 in (81 cm) | 52 in (132 cm) | 39.5 in (100 cm) |
| 3XL | 33 in (84 cm) | 56 in (142 cm) | 39.5 in (100 cm) |
| 4XL | 34 in (86 cm) | 60 in (152 cm) | 39 in (99 cm) |
Gildan 18000 — Unisex Sweatshirt
| Size | Length | Bust | Sleeve |
|---|---|---|---|
| S | 27 in (68.6 cm) | 40 in (101.6 cm) | 33.5 in (85.09 cm) |
| M | 28 in (71.1 cm) | 44 in (111.8 cm) | 34.5 in (87.63 cm) |
| L | 29 in (73.7 cm) | 48 in (121.9 cm) | 35.5 in (90.17 cm) |
| XL | 30 in (76.2 cm) | 52 in (132.1 cm) | 36.5 in (92.71 cm) |
| 2XL | 31 in (78.7 cm) | 56 in (142.2 cm) | 37.5 in (95.25 cm) |
| 3XL | 32 in (81.3 cm) | 60 in (152.4 cm) | 38.5 in (97.79 cm) |
| 4XL | 33 in (83.8 cm) | 64 in (162.6 cm) | 39.5 in (100.33 cm) |
Gildan 18500 — Unisex Hoodie
| Size | Length | Bust |
|---|---|---|
| S | 27 in (68.6 cm) | 40 in (101.6 cm) |
| M | 28 in (71.1 cm) | 44 in (111.8 cm) |
| L | 29 in (73.7 cm) | 48 in (121.9 cm) |
| XL | 30 in (76.2 cm) | 52 in (132.1 cm) |
| 2XL | 31 in (78.7 cm) | 56 in (142.2 cm) |
| 3XL | 32 in (81.3 cm) | 60 in (152.4 cm) |
| 4XL | 33 in (83.8 cm) | 64 in (162.6 cm) |
- Review the color & size charts.
- Select your preferred options.
- Place your order – easy as 1-2-3.
When Will It Arrive?
- ✅ Production Time: 1–3 business days.
- 📦 US Delivery: 3–7 business days.
- ⚡ US Rush Option: 3–5 business days.
- 🌍 Rest of World: 1–2 weeks.
Every item is made to order just for you. Please verify your size using the chart above. We can’t accept returns for sizing errors, but we’re always here to help if something isn’t right.
🛒 More to love at InkRitualCo.com. Designed for you, printed with pride.